Your heart is being ripped out of your chest? That something hurts so unbelievably bad that you think you can't stand another second of the pain. Letting your children leave you is like that. I watched my children drive away today with their grandpa. It hurts so bad right at this moment that I don't want to do anything but curl up in a ball and cease to exist. They are my life and most of the time I can function without them here. I do okay but it's always as if a part of me is missing.
They spent this last week with me. Spring Break, and it wasn't enough time. Not enough time to watch them bicker and banter like two kids do. It wasn't enough time for all the dinners to be cooked, dishes to wash, cartoons waiting on the dvr to be seen. I miss them so much already. I'll manage to find that place somewhere between here and there and I'll function without them. But truly living is picking up dirty laundry, reminding them to brush their teeth. Listening to them go on and on about a video game or a boyfriend. There never seems to be enough time.
I'm sad right now and I have to be in order to get on with it. I'm going to gather my friends close and hold on tight and manage to make it through this day.
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